Somewhere around 2010, when our oldest child was about seven, I was frustrated with being a mother. It’s not that I didn’t want to be a mother or that I wanted to climb the corporate ladder instead, I was just tired of being selfless. My husband always seemed to say, “if you’re not having fun, you must not be doing it right,” so I decided I needed to get into the heads of women who were having “fun” and apparently “doing it right” so I could change my paradigm concerning motherhood and even life in general so I might feel more fulfilled.
I began searching online for examples of LDS women who enjoyed motherhood so I could see how they did it, but surprisingly couldn’t find any! I found lots of crafty LDS women and many upset LDS women, but I needed more than that. I broadened my search to the Christian world and found women who had discovered their divine womanhood. Although the basis of their writings was the Bible, and they did not have the modern revelation that Latter-day Saints do, they helped me begin to better understand my role as a woman and a mother! I also recognized that if these good Christian women encountered LDS women online at that point in time, they may not get a very good perspective of who we are.
One day, while in the shower, I had a very strong impression, even a “wrestle” with God, enough that I began to cry, that I needed to begin blogging my belief in the family and in womanhood. I very much did not want to do it, but finally said, “I will do it if You will give me the words.” And He has. Through blogging and participating online, I have since met many strong and faithful voices and have become much more comfortable in my mother-of-young children stage of life.
I’ve always loved history; in fact, I minored in it. I especially love the stories of our Mormon Pioneer ancestry and know those people would not have sacrificed what they did if they didn’t truly believe the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love their examples of obedience and faith and know I can exemplify those qualities in our day, too. As a stay-at-home mom of four, you may think I have this perfect, calm, easy life, but just like everyone, of course I’ve had my trials. Because of trials, I know God is watching out for me.
When I was a little girl, I was in an unsafe place, and was literally called away and protected. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, yet because of a priesthood blessing, my physical pains were literally taken away; how my testimony of priesthood power and the Atonement of Christ increased! I’ve also experienced great heartache, yet because of Christ and His Atonement, I have learned to forgive and have peace and hope again. I know Heavenly Father gave us His Son, Jesus Christ to be our example, and if we follow him we will get along so much better with one another and have greater happiness and fulfillment in our lives.